Science: Study Says Useless Millennials Are Exhausted From Doing Nothing

Posted by on Jun 09, 2016 at 6:36 am

The worst generation is even worse than originally thought. They don’t socialize, can’t handle their liquor and are whining about being so tired. No wonder these simpering douchebags are such big Bernie Sanders fans.

Can we possibly disown an entire generation?

They’re the greatest generation — of couch potatoes.

A growing number of 18- to-34-year-olds, the world’s largest age group, prefer to unwind by staying in, watching Netflix and ordering Seamless, rather than by getting down at a club or bellying up at a bar.

“The weekend is my time to relax and not do all that stuff,” said Brandon Gillespie, 32, who works in media production. “Once I’m home, I don’t want to go out.”

He’s not alone. More young people are choosing to spend a quiet evening at home.

A study by Taylor Nelson Sofres, a consumer-research agency, found that, on average, millennials stream 2.7 hours of TV shows a day, while the earlier generation, Gen X, does about 1.8 hours.

Millennials, it seems, have discovered that the need to socialize face-to-face is waning, as food, shopping, friends, entertainment and even sex are all an app tap away.

It’s unlikely any of them could actually shop for food, cook a meal, or even more unlikely, know how to change their oil or replace a lightbulb. We’ve gone from the greatest generation to useless nitiwts in just 70 years.

For some, the price of nightlife isn’t worth the payoff.

“It’s cheaper to just stay home,” says Kimberly Pena, 21, a junior at Montclair State University in New Jersey. “Nowadays, $20 won’t get you too far.”

One thing millennials are not bingeing on is booze.

A 2016 survey by Heineken found that when millennials do bother to venture outside, 75 percent drink in moderation.

A study by Child Trends Data Bank also found that binge drinking among teens is at an all-time low: Only 19 percent of high-school seniors admitted to binge drinking in 2014, compared with a record high 41.4 percent in 1980.

Ah, the halcyon days, when men were men and ladies drank free. Where have you gone, Ronald Reagan?

But experts say staying indoors can hurt a person’s emotional well-being.

“They’re not consuming alcohol, but they’re consuming a lot of media — and it’s depressing them,” said Manhattan clinical psychologist Dr. Michael Brustein.

“I can’t tell you how often I hear [patients] say, ‘I did nothing this weekend and I feel terrible.’ ”

We’re doomed as a nation.

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2 Responses to “Science: Study Says Useless Millennials Are Exhausted From Doing Nothing”

  1. Mike on 9/09/16 at 2:36 pm

    Lmfao, whoever wrote this is an actual idiot. Did your friends not want to go out with you to the bars, and now you’re mad so you decided to go on a rant?? Absolutely pathetic “article”. Do yourself a favor and give up.

  2. Marcus on 13/13/16 at 6:12 am

    As a millenial, what I’ve noticed is all the people around my age that are SJW or very Liberal that I have met have never either faced adversity, or never worked a real job in their lives. They straight up get all their news from the daily show, and fact check absolutely nothing, thus they stay liberal. All the millenials I know that lean conservative often had rough childhoods that culminated in adult jobs where they got taxed the shit out of.