Hillary needs to switch to decaf before opening her mouth again

Posted by on Jan 26, 2016 at 8:30 am

Facing the prospect of a defeat at Bernie Sanders’ hands in Iowa — and what right now appears to be a near-certainty she will lose in New Hampshire — Hillary Clinton apparently chugged five Red Bulls before downing three cans of Mountain Dew before taking the stage at Monday night’s CNN town hall meeting. Then, she began to talk.


She appeared determined to prove to everyone’s satisfaction that she isn’t what Donald Trump says Jeb Bush is. No “low energy” Hillary here, no sir.

If she were running for Tobacco Auctioneer-in-Chief, after Monday night she’d have the race in the bag. Elect me president, she seemed to be saying, and I will speak more words more quickly and with fewer breaks for breathing than any president we’ve ever had.

In this respect, she really did give Democrats in Iowa a choice next Monday when they gather in their caucuses for the first vote of the presidential year. The choice is this: Do they prefer being yelled at by Bernie Sanders or being motormouthed by Hillary Clinton? (I assume the party has already decided against the race’s Propofol in human form, Martin O’Malley.)

In the course of her 45-minute appearance, Clinton wanted to stress her experience in foreign policy as a counterweight to Sanders’ lack thereof. And in the course of her ceaseless patter, she said a few astonishing things.

She recounted a time in 2012 when Israel informed the United States it was getting ready to attack Gaza due to what she called “an unfortunate spate of missiles” being fired at Israeli population centers. So she flew from the Far East to Israel and she talked to the Israeli cabinet and then she went to Egypt and talked to President Morsi and then she flew back to Israel and then there was no war hallelujah she did it.

How wonderful. Only there was a war — in 2014, a year and a half after she left her job as secretary of state.

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