Frail, Elderly Candidate Seeks Likability with Selfies and Celebrities

Posted by on Feb 17, 2016 at 12:20 pm

Face it, Grandma, people just don’t like you. Because nothing says hip and modern like a woman who suffers from daily violent coughing fits posing for photos while looking like a deer in the headlights.

Hillary Clinton is trying to show a more likable side.

In recent days, she has played soccer goalie with a group of school children, used an analogy of being on a bad blind date and on Monday — to the shock of the Internet — she even barked in front of a crowd. The barking was part of an extended riff on the purported untruthfulness of Republican candidates.

As the Democratic presidential race tightens in Nevada and South Carolina, longtime allies to Clinton are worried that the candidate’s personality, which they say is witty and effusive behind the scenes, still isn’t breaking through to the general public. Younger voters seem especially resistant to her charms, they worry.

Months of late night television appearances, podcasts with the likes of  “Girls” creator Lena Dunham, events alongside pop singer Katy Perry and Clinton’s penchant for selfies haven’t seen her gain traction with the much-needed demographic.

If after a quarter century in the public spotlight people don’t like you, snapping selfies isn’t going to change any of that. Meanwhile, one of her husband’s former girlfriends is talking, and you can be assured you won’t be reading any of this in the American media.

The book promises to recall a series of unguarded conversations in which she claims Bill revealed his wife’s preference for female lovers.

As far-fetched as her accusations may appear, she remains convinced that Hillary Clinton is behind a plot to silence her ahead of the November election.

But it will also lay bare what Miller,  describes as a decades-long Democrat campaign to discredit and harass her that began when she first revealed the affair in 1992, a campaign she claims has now reached such perverse depths that she actually fears for her life.

The twice-divorced 77-year-old took to social media in recent weeks to post an extraordinary warning that if she dies by ‘suicide’ no-one should believe it.

When Daily Mail Online visited Miller at her Arkansas home she insisted she had been stalked, spied upon and plagued by anonymous phone calls since word of her memoir leaked out.

‘She doesn’t care what I say about Bill, that’s old news,’ Miller told Daily Mail Online. ‘But I think she wonders what Bill told me. I think she wonders how much I know about her that came from Bill.

‘With the election coming up she can’t afford any sort of loose end. She’s the closest thing you can imagine to Al Capone. I don’t think she is going to rest until she puts me to rest.’

And what of those accusations so insulting or damaging that a potential Presidential candidate would unleash her operatives to intimidate or even bump off an elderly lady?

‘Hillary is a lesbian,’ Miller claims, reigniting a lingering but unsubstantiated rumor that has dogged the former First Lady for years.

Weird how that “rumor” keeps popping up.  Anyway, we do hope Grandma Barker makes it a little longer, although we’re really thinking it’s time she’s hospitalized.

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One Response to “Frail, Elderly Candidate Seeks Likability with Selfies and Celebrities”

  1. pretty pink participation ribbon on 17/17/16 at 1:52 pm

    The precious little millennial snowflakes can always get their fresh ideas from a 74 year old communist and not the pander master granny cankles.