Actual Magazine Headline: ‘Why is Hillary Clinton so widely loved?’

Posted by on Nov 04, 2016 at 10:31 am

No, this isn’t from The Onion.

We do not see, often enough, the people who love Hillary Clinton, who support her because of her qualifications rather than because of her unqualified opponent, who empathize with her. Yet millions of Americans, women and men, love her intelligence, her industriousness, her grit; they feel loyal to her, they will vote with enthusiasm for her.

Ask them to name a single qualification and they’re lost for words, however:

Yeah, but she’s so widely loved, or something.

Human beings change as they grow, but a person’s history speaks to who she is. There are millions who admire the tapestry of Hillary Clinton’s past: the first-ever student commencement speaker at Wellesley speaking boldly about making the impossible possible, the Yale law student interested in the rights of migrant farmworkers, the lawyer working with the Children’s Defense Fund, the first lady trying to make health care accessible for all Americans.

Hey, let’s ask Grandma herself to rattle off some accomplishments:


A conservative writer labeled her a congenital liar when she was first lady, and the label stuck because it was repeated over and over—and it was a convenient label to harness misogyny. If she was a liar, then the hostility she engendered could not possibly be because she was a first lady who refused to be still and silent. “Liar’ has re-emerged during this election even though Politifact, a respected source of information about politicians, has certified that she is more honest than most politicians—and certainly more honest than her opponent.

That “conservative writer” was named William Safire, and he’s still being proven right 20 years later.

The people who love Hillary Clinton know that the IT system at the State Department is old and stodgy, nothing like a Blackberry’s smooth whirl. Hillary Clinton was used to her Blackberry, and wanted to keep using it when she became secretary of state. Hackers could have broken into her system, which was not as secure as the State Department’s. But an exhaustive investigation has found no hacking and no nefarious intent—and intent is what matters above all else. Hillary Clinton has apologized. She made an understandable mistake. She did not commit a crime, and did not intend to commit a crime.

Derpity derp derp derp. No hacking? Well, only at least five foreign states hacked her.

(5) FBI sources say with 99% accuracy that Hillary Clinton’s server has been hacked by at least five foreign intelligence agencies, and that information had been taken from it.

Oh well, but they still love her, so who can they blame?

The people who love Hillary Clinton see the failings of the general American media, where news entertains rather than informs. They bristle when benign stories about her are covered with an ominous tone, and book-ended with layers of innuendo. They see that for actions deserving of outrage, the outrage in her case is always outsized.

Oh, so it’s the media’s fault. The same media that’s been covering up her crimes from day 1.

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2 Responses to “Actual Magazine Headline: ‘Why is Hillary Clinton so widely loved?’”

  1. Sebastian F. Sorrow on 4/04/16 at 11:18 am

    Is it because she fights hard for the poor and downtrodden in her $12,000 Armani suit?
    Or is it because she is a warrior against the *evul* republican war on women who gets rapists cleared in court and is married to one?
    Is it because she is a bimbo eruption clean up artitst?
    She does have hot sauce and also eats soul food you know.
    Or is it because she dragged a $100 bill through a trailer park?