Wait, this is news? Is CNN really this hard up? Sheesh, just imagine if Fox ran with this lunacy.
Felix Kiprono, a lawyer in Nairobi, Kenya, has his eye on someone special: President Obama’s daughter Malia.
His offer to win her hand? Fifty cows, 70 sheep and 30 goats.
“People might say I am after the family’s money, which is not the case. My love is real,” he told the Nairobian newspaper.
Moreover, he adds, he’s been faithful to his beloved since he first became aware of her.
“I got interested in her in 2008,” he said. “As a matter of fact, I haven’t dated anyone since and promise to be faithful to her. I have shared this with my family and they are willing to help me raise the bride price.”
What was she, like 9 years old in 2008? Yikes.
There are some issues, of course. For one, Malia Obama is 16. For another, she’ll have to develop a taste for village life.
“Ours will be a simple life. I will teach Malia how to milk a cow, cook ugali (a porridge) and prepare mursik (a sour milk) like any other Kalenjin woman,” he said.
Seriously creepy shit.
— CNN (@CNN) May 27, 2015