Man, how bombed out of your skull do you have to be try to do it with an ATM? Where do you even put it?
A drunk has been arrested on suspicion of trying to have sex with an ATM machine and a picnic table.
Lonnie Hutton, 49, walked into the Boro Bar and Grill in Murfreesboro, near Nashville, Tennessee, and up to the ATM.
He pulled down his pants and underwear, exposing his genitals, then attempted to have sexual intercourse with the ATM, the arrest report stated.
Responding officers found Hutton, still nude from the waist down, walking around the bar, thrusting his hips in the air.
Officers took Hutton outside and told him to sit at a wooden picnic table, WKRN.com reported.
The report stated he ‘exposed himself again and engaged in sexual intercourse with the wooden picnic table’.
Hutton smelled of alcohol, had slurred speech, bloodshot eyes and was unsteady on his feet, police said.
Other than that he was in perfectly good condition.