Obama: Sure I Suffered Concussions Back When I Never Played Football

Posted by on May 29, 2014 at 12:52 pm

As part of his laser-like focus on his crumbling economy and innumerable scandals, the president today tackled that most pressing national issue of sports concussions. Because of course:

Indeed, it’s time to raffle off James Taylor tickets. Maybe some ailing vets can have some:

James Taylor, the embodiment of white privilege:

Meanwhile as he was posing at the White House today, Obama reflected nostalgically on his football playing days. Heretofore we never heard a word about him playing football while growing up in Indonesia or Hawaii.

The concussions were so awful he has no memory of them. Remember it’s all about Obama:

This is probably why he wouldn’t let his imaginary son play football.

Update: We stand corrected. Obama has played football:

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2 Responses to “Obama: Sure I Suffered Concussions Back When I Never Played Football”

  1. The Audacity of Hype on 29/29/14 at 4:49 pm

    The glorious 1000 yard rushing, 4000 yard passing, 25 sack, 13 interception season enjoyed by Broncobama are a composite he read about in the paper. He just found out about in the newspaper yesterday.