A Weary Nation Can Rest: Life-Size Obama Statue Found Unharmed

Posted by on Aug 25, 2014 at 1:12 pm

Ironically enough this statue has done more work than Obama while in captivity.

One Pennsylvania woman can now sleep easy. The case of the missing life-size Obama statue has been solved. The statue was found last week on a Pennsylvania park bench with a bottle of Twisted Tea in the president’s hand and a six-pack beside him.

Should have had him smoking some choom.

Wilkes-Barre resident Tiffany Bruce told the Scranton Times-Tribune that the statue had been missing since July of last year. She couldn’t understand why anyone would steal it. Bruce was so upset by the theft that she had to be hospitalized for a panic attackreports the Associated Press. “I freaked …I couldn’t breathe, my eyes were red and watery,” she told the Scranton Times-Tribune.

Hospitalized over a fake Obama. And she can cancel out your vote.

Bruce purchased the statue at a furniture store last year and her family fell in love with it. She and her five kids decorated it for the holidays: Santa Claus for Christmas, with pumpkins on Thanksgiving. After it disappeared, her children asked: “What did you do with Obama?”

Bruce first thought someone had hidden the statue as a prank. “I was so mad…If I get him back, I’m going to tie him down,” she told the paper.


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8 Responses to “A Weary Nation Can Rest: Life-Size Obama Statue Found Unharmed”

  1. Enjoy Delicious Kool-Aid on 25/25/14 at 4:44 pm

    Idolatry is a pejorative term for the worship of an idol or a physical object such as a cult image as a god, or practices believed to verge on worship, such as giving honour and regard to created forms.

  2. smarties on 26/26/14 at 5:58 pm

    Will the furniture store make a statue of the immaculate Dear Leader Messiah bowing to the Burger King mascot?
    Comrade Saint Warren Buffet approves.