MA Democrat Seeks Federal Help to Find Somewhere to Bury Dead Terrorist

Posted by on May 05, 2013 at 8:31 am

Gee, what a shame that nobody wants to step forward to accommodate the burial of this scumbag. Have they considered cremation? So facing this dilemma, a Democrat reflexively looks to the federal government. Hey, maybe we can all pay for this while we’re at it?

A Worcester funeral home director is pleading for government officials to use their influence to convince a cemetery to bury Boston bombing suspect Tamerlan Tsarnaev, but so far no state or federal authorities have stepped forward to help out.

“We have a body for burial that has caused a lot of controversy and we can’t continue to play this game,” said Peter Stefan, owner of the Graham, Putnam and Mahoney Funeral Parlors. “Under normal circumstances, the government would say it’s (the funeral parlor’s) responsibility to find a place for burial, but this is not normal circumstances. This is a nightmare.”

Since Stefan accepted Tsarnaev’s body Friday, protesters have been outside the funeral home, under the wary eye of local police, demanding that the bomber’s body be shipped out of the United States. Meanwhile, Stefan told the Herald the family wants Tsarnaev buried in Boston but he can’t find a cemetery anywhere willing to take the body.

State Sen. Harriet L. Chandler (D-Worcester) said the federal government — not the state — should help find a solution to the burial problem.

“The federal government needs to step in. But I’m not sure what they’re going to do or where will they go,” Chandler said. “Peter Stefan is a very respected and respectable funeral home director in Worcester. He’s a good man. This can’t continue. He’s taking a financial loss as a result of this.”

Well, some choices have consequences. Now where’d I leave that world’s smallest violin?

Edith Flynn, professor emeritus at Northeastern University and a terrorism expert, said the U.S. government should arrange a flight on a military cargo plane already headed to the North Caucasus region where Tsarnaev’s parents live.

“Look at the choice. Do you want to use taxpayer dollars to help fix a vandalized cemetery or get rid of the body in the most convenient way that would rid us of the problem for good?” Flynn said.

If so, open a cargo door midflight and accidentally misplace the carcass. Whatever the case, commenters at the Herald have some helpful suggestions. Something like this seems to be a popular idea:




3 Responses to “MA Democrat Seeks Federal Help to Find Somewhere to Bury Dead Terrorist”

  1. Tom Jackson on 5/05/13 at 5:28 pm

    Surely there must be dozens of sewage lagoons in the Boston area. or how about soaking him in bacon fat, sew him into a pigskin, and bury him in landfill?

  2. Tom Jackson on 5/05/13 at 7:38 pm

    soaking this towelhead scrote in pork fat, then feeding him to starving pigs, would also be rather piquant, no?