Knee-Slapping Hilarity From The Onion: ‘James Holmes Elected New NRA President’

Posted by on May 07, 2013 at 7:39 am

Proper satire requires a kernel of truth to make it somewhat believable. This isn’t even remotely funny.  Apparently upset there were no mass murders at this past weekend’s NRA Convention in Houston, the schmucks from The Onion thought it’d be a good idea to publish garbage like this. Must be a Jack Stuief production.

Saying that he embodies the organization’s core values and beliefs, members of the National Rifle Association elected Aurora, CO mass shooter James Holmes as their new president Monday, sources confirmed. “Mr. Holmes is not only a powerful symbol and advocate of Second Amendment rights, but he’s also a high-profile gun owner himself,” said NRA member Tyler Paulson, 46, who claimed he could think of no one better to lead the group through its current challenges than the man who shot and killed 12 people in a Colorado movie theater.

We can’t wait for the guffaws the Newtown parodies will produce.


10 Responses to “Knee-Slapping Hilarity From The Onion: ‘James Holmes Elected New NRA President’”

  1. eon on 7/07/13 at 8:46 am

    Don’t be surprised when this shows up on Huffpo as the real deal. After all, their “narratives” not only prove that they are Always Right and Good, they are always so much more “real” than actual reality.

    clear ether


  2. Blue Hen on 7/07/13 at 10:04 am

    And yet; Bill Ayers is still, “just some guy from the neighborhood”. Funny how that works.

  3. Il Padrino on 7/07/13 at 10:53 am

    Maybe you haven’t been visiting the Onion regularly. They’ve been doing anti-gun stuff almost every single week since Newtown, none of it funny and much of it repulsive. Roll through their archives; it’ll really get your blood boiling.

  4. Wonkish Rogue on 7/07/13 at 10:58 am

    On a related note Brick Obama has nominated Kermit Gosnell for Surgeon General saying, “I can think of nobody who embodies concern for Womyn’s Health like Kermit. As a General he will lead in the fight in the Warz against poor minority immigrant womyn.” See, funny? Har Har Har.

  5. Blue Hen on 7/07/13 at 12:03 pm

    In other news, Susan Rice was nominated for a new post representing the United States, based upon her reputation for ‘speaking truth to power’.

    Wait. They actually did that.

  6. Funeral Guy on 8/08/13 at 1:41 am

    I haven’t been to their site in years. I guess they’ve gotten even less funny since then.

  7. Doc on 9/09/13 at 12:35 pm

    The ONION…liberal rats nest filled with unimaginative vermin smelling of hatred for Americans…oh, did I mention they are “not funny” even though trying to be.