Hilarious: Seattle Wants to Ban ‘Brown Bag’ As ‘Potentially Offensive’

Posted by on Aug 02, 2013 at 9:19 am

Yes, really.

Government workers in the city of Seattle have been advised that the terms “citizen” and “brown bag” are potentially offensive and may no longer be used in official documents and discussions.

KOMO-TV reports that the city’s Office of Civil Rights instructed city workers in a recent internal memo to avoid using the words because some may find them offensive.

“Luckily, we’ve got options,” Elliott Bronstein of the Office for Civil Rights wrote in the memo obtained by the station. “For ‘citizens,’ how about ‘residents?'”

Instead of Elliot Bronstein, how about we substitute that with moron?

In an interview with Seattle’s KIRO Radio, Bronstein said the term “brown bag” has been used historically as a way to judge skin color.

“For a lot of particularly African-American community members, the phrase brown bag does bring up associations with the past when a brown bag was actually used, I understand, to determine if people’s skin color was light enough to allow admission to an event or to come into a party that was being held in a private home,” Bronstein said.

According to the memo, city employees should use the terms “lunch-and-learn” or “sack lunch” instead of “brown bag.”

We wonder when they’ll ban the word laughingstock.


26 Responses to “Hilarious: Seattle Wants to Ban ‘Brown Bag’ As ‘Potentially Offensive’”

  1. Buddha on 2/02/13 at 9:52 am

    I prefer checking a person’s skin color against a copy of the Munsell Book of Color, Nearly Neutrals Edition.

  2. Fox2! on 2/02/13 at 10:04 am

    There’s a difference between being a “Citizen” and a “Resident.” The two terms are not identical.

  3. Lea on 2/02/13 at 10:33 am

    Just when you think people can’t get any dumber…

    Hint liberals: ‘Brown Bag’ refers to sacs that used to hold your lunch, which were brown. If it makes you feel better, this is closer to a tan white people brown.

  4. rick on 2/02/13 at 10:54 am

    Personally, I find “sack lunch” offensive, as I recently had my sack chewed off by a dog whilst sleeping.

  5. Memories on 2/02/13 at 10:56 am

    “Brown bag” is just idiocy, and more likely to be a distraction from the much worse elimination of the word “citizen.” I have another resolution for them, they don’t want to use the word “citizen” then they can revoke their own citizenship since that is probably offensive too.

  6. John Morris on 2/02/13 at 11:05 am

    While it is true that ‘citizen’ and ‘resident’ aren’t the same, it is politically incorrect and a thoughtcrime to notice.

    And for a city official to use citizenship vs residency to make any decision is probably already a firing offense there as in most blue bastions. So after making it illegal to consider it they now take the next logical step of making it illegal to even say it, which will cause most people to never think it in the first place for fear of accidentally saying it.

  7. Tuerqas on 2/02/13 at 11:27 am

    How about ‘burnt sienna’? Racist speech or crayola crayon? We should definitely ban black angus beef because it could also be used to offend an overweight african american.

    The insidious assault on the english language continues in the name of liberalism. Of all the liberal campaigns, I find this the slimiest. Changing the definition of terms in the law books to change the laws that you would never get changed in any other way is the lowest of the low to me. Change the meaning of ‘constitution’ enough and the entire US constitution means something else.

  8. Beppo on 2/02/13 at 11:39 am

    Well, “sack lunch” makes it sound like you’re eating off of (or out of) some guy’s scrotum, so that offends me.
    And “lunch and learn” offends me because I eat lunch while watching old Alf reruns so I don’t learn a goddamned thing.

  9. chas on 2/02/13 at 11:50 am

    i work for a suburb of Dallas and i have always used resident as opposed to citizen. but only because citizen sounds so socialist to me. so i’m surprised to hear seattle banning it.

  10. Landru on 2/02/13 at 11:59 am

    Bronstein? Isn’t that a variation of Braunstein, braun meaning brown in German. Shouldn’t this guy be fired? How can he even be allowed to continue to exist without offending someone? The mere sight of his name on official correspondence is offensive. Fire him now in the name of diversity!

  11. Goldsage on 2/02/13 at 12:10 pm

    Could it be that Bronstein dropped the “w” from his own name so that he would not be considered racist or Heaven forbid politically incorrect? Some Seattlites are suffering from lack of sunshine, which causes their brains to become malignant sponges of liberalism.

  12. Julie on 2/02/13 at 12:22 pm

    Hahahahah!! Comments are hilarious. Wiping away a tear….. thanks guys. Made my Friday.

  13. Sean on 2/02/13 at 12:32 pm

    Sounds like some more of the left’s agenda on illegal migrants/immigrants.

    First they need to change the language, eliminate the meaning of being a citizen by making it equivalent to being a resident.

    Then they can change laws to allow all “residents” to vote.

  14. Larry on 2/02/13 at 1:31 pm

    There was an attempt in L.A. to force computer/telecom equipment manufacturers to eliminate the designation of ‘master’ and ‘slave’ devices (such as hard drives, but also a lot of other equipment) for similar idiotic reasons. Personally, I’m waiting for activists from the LGBTWWHK (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Who The Hell Knows?) community to protest ‘male’ and ‘female’ connectors. After all, they’re discriminatory because you can’t connect male/male or female/female connectors without male-to-female adapters….

  15. Tuerqas on 2/02/13 at 3:32 pm

    Larry said:
    “After all, they’re discriminatory because you can’t connect male/male or female/female connectors without male-to-female adapters….”

    AH-H-H, but you can get female/female or male/male connectors, so the fastener world is properly PC. Having an integratable society is not really important so much, as long as you have inclusion. We even need terrorists. Like good needs evil, you can’t have just good religion. Libs wouldn’t be able to handle religion if they couldn’t point to religious fanatics.

  16. gekkobear on 2/02/13 at 5:23 pm

    Larry said:
    ” I’m waiting for activists from the LGBTWWHK (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Who The Hell Knows?) community to protest ‘male’ and ‘female’ connectors. ”

    Wait, I’ve got one of those on my desk (I stole it from work, but I asked IT first, they didn’t care).

    It’s a monitor cable piece you’d use if you wanted to connect two monitor cables together (because the plugs wouldn’t fit without a connector).
    Labelled “DB-9 F/F GENDER CHANGER”.

    Yes, I still chuckle when I read that, and no I’m not 13 anymore. Still funny to me.
    Of course I’ve got a USB “humping dog” running around here too. So my taste in humor might be in question.

  17. Teri on 3/03/13 at 2:23 pm

    I was always kind of embarrassed to talk about male and female connectors, y’know? Because I’d have to stop and think which was which, and the way to figure it out is embarrassing to a modest young lady such as myself.

    Then I got married and got over it, but I think that the usage is offensive to virgins who need mnemonics.

  18. Tuerqas on 5/05/13 at 11:47 am

    “Then I got married and got over it, but I think that the usage is offensive to virgins who need mnemonics.”

    Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha. Priceless.