CNN: Gas Prices Skyrocketing Due to Our Awesome Economy

Posted by on Feb 06, 2013 at 9:14 am

Now that gas prices have surged above $5 a gallon in some areas the always keen economic geniuses have an explanation: Obama’s economy is so awesome.

The average price for a gallon of regular is now $3.53 a gallon, according to AAA. That’s 17 cents higher than it was just a week ago, and 23 cents higher than last month.

In parts of Los Angeles, drivers are already paying more than $5 a gallon.

“I’m shocked. I don’t know what happened,” Diana Griffitts, a motorist filling up at a downtown LA station, told CNN. “Just a week ago I paid under $4 a gallon. I’d like an explanation.”

She wants an explanation: Here you go, honey:


Meanwhile, CNN has a unique explanation:

Energy analysts say oil prices are rising partly because the economy is improving. The U.S. housing market had its best year in the last five, U.S. job growth is steady, and the Chinese economy is showing an uptick.

Job growth is steady? Really? Then how come we have chronic high unemployment and a plunging GDP? This they don’t explain.

On the refining front, several refineries have either shut down or are about to for maintenance before the switch to summer gasoline, which often has to be formulated to prevent smog buildup in the warmer weather. That comes on top of the closure of a Hess refinery in New Jersey last month, which was reportedly losing money.

Refineries are shutting down and other are losing money. But hey, the economy is just great. Next thing you know some dunce will blame traffic jams on a robust economy. Oh, wait.

2 Responses to “CNN: Gas Prices Skyrocketing Due to Our Awesome Economy”

  1. Loves Me Some Kool-Aid on 6/06/13 at 10:24 am

    Dude everything is like so cool, hee hee! Teh coolest rockstar professor eva is going to save us!