Britain’s Most Tattooed Man Curiously Unable to Find Work

Posted by on Mar 05, 2013 at 8:53 am

Hard to imagine why this attractive chap can’t find work, huh?

He’s Britain’s most-tattooed man, with 80 per cent of his body covered in ink.

But 33-year-old Mathew Whelan is now struggling to find work as a result of his devotion to body art.

After spending 300 hours in the tattooist’s chair and having paid more than £20,000 for designs, Mr Whelan is currently volunteering in the office of a Liberal Democrat MP.

I’m shocked to find out he’s a Lliberal Democrat. Whodathunkit?

He has also changed his name to King Body Art The Extreme Ink-ite or, alternatively, King of Inkland.

Mr Whelan says body modification is a culture, a way of life and almost a religion.

Body Art has expressed his wish to educate the world on his colourful beliefs.

I wonder if his welfare checks are paid to that moniker?

But he also volunteers at the office of Liberal Democrat MP John Hemmings in Yardley, in Birmingham.

Mr Whelan, from Birmingham, said: ‘I’ve got so much respect for the history of body modification.

‘It’s an art and a culture and when a group of kids stare at me, I’ll talk to them an explain the history of it.

‘People who do what I do treat their body like a temple. Like Christian’s have Jesus, we have our bodies.’

Um, OK.

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8 Responses to “Britain’s Most Tattooed Man Curiously Unable to Find Work”

  1. fading banana republik on 5/05/13 at 10:23 am

    Come to America comrade it is your right and a welfare check awaits!

  2. Abiss on 5/05/13 at 11:03 am

    Hmmm. Can’t get a job, but can still afford 20k sterling for ‘body art.’ Is it politically correct to hate the FSA yet?

  3. Alberta Oil Peon on 5/05/13 at 11:28 am

    Well, the guy is clearly a fool, but there is no reason why he couldn’t work in some job that doesn’t require face-to-face contact with the public. Say, as a telephone sales rep. As long as his co-workers can get along with him.

    Of course, he really wants some high-status job, for which he’s totally unqualified, because he wants to keep those bennies flowing in.

  4. GodnCountry on 5/05/13 at 1:15 pm

    “Mr Whelan says body modification is a culture, a way of life and almost a religion.”

    See, now I would’ve filed it under “Obsessive/Compulsive Disorder.”

  5. raul on 5/05/13 at 2:04 pm

    I don’t understand why he doesn’t become a tattoo artist,he could be his own walking billboard for advertisement!

  6. Snake Oil Baron on 5/05/13 at 4:18 pm

    No money changers needed in his temple. A pest control specialist maybe.

  7. Respect the temple of my body on 13/13/13 at 9:54 am

    Yes! Because the first thing I do with a temple is scrawl all over the walls.

    Oops, my mistake, that’s a bathroom.