Sign of the Apocalypse: Kim Kardashian Tries to Hook Up With Tim Tebow

Posted by on Jan 27, 2012 at 8:43 pm

Tebowmania may have subsided the past couple of weeks, but  that  won’t deter the cloying famewhores of the world from trying to lay their hooks into Tim Tebow.

You knew eventually this slut would aim for the trophy.

Call it a necessary price of fame for rising sports stars, but poor Tim Tebow has been unwittingly fixed up by the tabloids with increasing frequency. Last we heard, the poor guy was dealing with a special invite from Katy Perry’s parents to speak at their church and also start dating their wayward daughter, who could really use a nice Christian boy after that dodgy Russell Brand. Most of you found the idea pretty hilarious and pretty unlikely in terms of a match, but it sure was an entertaining prospect, right?

But wait. It gets even better. Now, Kim Kardashian has reportedly set her sights on poor Tim and reportedly has a major crush on the guy. Never mind that Tim is a devout Christian and a virgin who is saving himself for marriage, and Kim is a devout narcissist who only believes in the almighty dollar and has starred in her very own “adult film.” None of that matters at all to her because Kim is shopping for a new boyfriend (translation: “co-star“), and she thinks that Tim is the ideal hottie to fill the opening (translation: “He’d be great for ratings.“).

My advice to Tebow. Be very afraid.

Well, I’m not the only one offering advice.

Snoop leaves very few stones unturned as he describes Kim’s ability to sink any man she romantically links up with. He brings up former boyfriend, football player Reggie Bush, sex tape costar Ray J (who Snoop says survived the curse. Phew). And tells Kris it was a mistake from the start to try and make an honest women out of Kim.

Language warning, yo!


Tags: , ,

Comments are closed.