Rahm Emanuel Announces Crackdown on Murderous Gangbangers

Posted by on Nov 15, 2012 at 8:51 am

Oh, wait, did we say the mayor of the American city with the highest murder rate is cracking down on criminals? Sorry, we meant he’s stepping up his war on vending machines.

Call it going Full Bloomberg.

Time for Chicago’s vending machines to chip up or chip out.

Mayor Rahm Emanuel said Wednesday he’s cracking down on the caloric content of vending machines in city buildings and plans to replace them all with healthy vending by next year.

A proposed ordinance, to be introduced this week, will lay out plans for the new machines and detail guidelines on fat, sugar and calorie content starting in January 2013.

“These new vending machines will make it easier than ever before for city employees and the public to make healthy lifestyle decisions,” Emanuel said. “When city employees take their wellness into their own hands, we can reduce health care costs and also serve as a model for the residents of Chicago when it comes to making healthy choices.”

Never go Full Bloomberg.

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One Response to “Rahm Emanuel Announces Crackdown on Murderous Gangbangers”

  1. STW on 15/15/12 at 11:46 am

    There must be something in the city employee’s union contract requiring them to purchase food from a vending machine since the healthy choice of no purchase at all seems absent from the discussion. I expect it to reappear, however, when the machine vendors have to be subsidized because no one is purchasing many of the healthy items, making the machines unprofitable.