
First question: Dear President Awesome, how awesomely awesome was it to be re-elected?
Sure, he’ll face a tough question perhaps, if by chance he calls on a real reporter. We know ABC’s Jake Tapper won’t be there (he’s on a book tour), so unless Ed Henry of Fox gets called on (unlikely), don’t expect any so-called “tough” questions. These clowns had four years to ask tough questions and we never saw one.
The fallout from former CIA Director David Petraeus’s extramarital affair has spawned the type of sensational media feeding frenzy that Obama detests. But when he holds his first full-scale news conference in eight months Wednesday, Obama will have to explain how he plans to re-create his national security team, what he knows about the burgeoning scandal and why he didn’t get wind of it sooner.
It’s simply not plausible he had no knowledge of the Petraeus affair. Yet this press corps wants us to believe Obama is so sheltered from reality he never knew a thing.
Here is POLITICO’s cheat sheet of questions that the president is likely to face:
1. Do you believe the FBI should have told you and Congress sooner about the investigation that led Gen. Petraeus to resign?

Mr President! Mr President! Do you think Jesus could have learned something from you?
Oh He Who Will Heal Our Gaia, how soon will we send coal miners and oil prospectors to the camps?
Boxers or briefs?
But what about Romney’s gaaaaaaafes, Mr. President?
“Do you think Jill Kelly has a nice rack?”
From bandit: “Do you think Jill Kelly has a nice rack?”
The Jill Kelly who does all the porn movies does. Just don’t look too hard at her face. She looks like she needs a garden trowel to remove her makeup at night.
The toughest question Obama will have to answer from reporters; Mr. President, should I kiss your left or right a$$ cheek?
You want that in cash or trade ?