It’s Come to This: “Climate Change Castaways” Consider Move to Australia

Posted by on Jan 07, 2012 at 11:17 am

Don’t laugh. There will come a day when Democrats are short on votes and they’ll probably just have us import some fresh voters. Because it would be racist if we didn’t. Or something like that. Anyway, this is a dilemma quite possibly facing the Australians, as an entire populace of a small island nation is now inviting themselves in.

THE President of what could be the first country in the world lost to climate change has urged Australia to prepare for a mass wave of climate refugees seeking a new place to live.

The Maldivian President, Mohamed Nasheed, said his government was considering Australia as a possible new home if the tiny archipelago disappears beneath rising seas.

”It is increasingly becoming difficult to sustain the islands, in the natural manner that these islands have been,” he told the Herald in an interview in Male, the Maldives capital.

”So … if everyone else around Australia is so poor and unable to fend for themselves and have a decent life, would that necessarily make life in Australia any better? Would that be the castle that you can defend?”

The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change predicts a sea-level rise of up to 59 centimetres over the next century, a level that would inundate most of the Maldives’ inhabited atolls. Low-lying Pacific island nations, such as Kirabati and Tuvalu, would also face being flooded.

”If nations won’t do good for themselves, they really must do good for everyone around, simply in your self-interest as well,” Mr Nasheed said.

”Not necessarily because you’re so nice, and so benevolent and good that you want to provide others with things.

”But I think it’s really quite necessary for Australians and for every rich country to understand that this is unlike any other thing that’s happened before.”

Sounds kinda pushy, doesn’t he? You’re rich, and I want some of it!

First he might want to have a chat with the folks in the countries where he plans to relocate his people to.

Australia, for its climate and abundance of space, along with Sri Lanka and India, for their proximity and cultural similarities, are the three countries the President has identified as possible destinations.

”They are the talked about countries, though we haven’t necessarily had official conversations with these governments,” Mr Nasheed said.

As Tim Blair notes, they’ve got more pressing issues to worry about other than this so-called climate change.

The country also has a serious drug problem. An epidemic of cheap heroin has swept through the archipelago, but taken root in Male in particular. The UN has estimated 40 per cent of the country’s youth use hard drugs.

Nasheed, a Muslim as the Maldives constitution obliges all Maldivians to be, also faces a rising tide of Islamic fundamentalism. Wahhabist Islamic scholars, most schooled in madrassas in Pakistan, are radicalising Islam in the Maldives. Female circumcision is practised, and is reportedly on the increase, across the archipelago. There are calls for the return of amputation for crimes and for the banning of music and dancing. Women are flogged for having extra-marital sex.

Maybe we should wish for a really big wave to come. Or maybe some of those hybrid sharks.

6 Responses to “It’s Come to This: “Climate Change Castaways” Consider Move to Australia”

  1. the wolf on 7/07/12 at 1:00 pm

    After reading that description of Maldives, I want to do all I can to make global warming happen. Fifty-nine cm? Let’s go for 100 over the next decade!

  2. Frank G on 7/07/12 at 2:33 pm

    required by their constitution to be Muslim? They sure are afraid someone won’t want to be one, huh? Religion of Peace, my ass. Forced religion of coercion because they suck is more like it

  3. Fuzzlenutter on 7/07/12 at 7:07 pm

    I say we invade, kill at the moooslim natives, and then build resorts. I hear the SCUBA diving is spectacular there…

  4. Beau Jest on 7/07/12 at 11:30 pm

    To the President of the Maldive islands: My suggestion is a little freaking ingenuity and self-intitiative would be in order. Your islands are coral atolls on top of subsiding volcanoes. You don’t need an exodus, you just need some concrete and landfill. In the very unlikely event global warming actually happens, you are only going to need a little bit of raising.

    As far as the dirt that would be needed—just hit us up around election seasons.We’ll be slinging enough of it around to have plentry to spare.

  5. Mashiki on 8/08/12 at 2:29 pm

    Well they have forced conversions, maybe they can pray to their god to save them too.

  6. Nick Shaw on 8/08/12 at 6:40 pm

    This has to be one of the sneakiest ways to spread Islam I have ever heard of!
    Will the Maldives suffer from increased sea levels? Not bloody likely! President Asheed knows the numbers coming out of the IPCC are a crock evidenced by the flurry of sea side resorts being built as I write.
    No, this man is as big a grifter as his idol, Algore.
    He’s saying these things, and you need to note he said “if” the waters rise, for the money. Give us money or we’ll start sending folks to Australia as “climate refugees”! What’s the criteria for a climate refugee? Ask the UN. You can be sure the requirements will be just as fuzzy and idiotic as their qualifications to be a Palistinian refugee!
    Nasheed is as corrupt as any African dictator. The problem is, he has every liberal and environazi in the world on his side!