I know what you’re thinking: Can Drunkle Omar’s memoirs be far behind? Although his would likely be a very short story since he’s apparently been intoxicated most of his life and he probably has very little memory. Granted, his nephew admittedly spent his high school years stoned out of his mind and look how successful he’s been in the publishing world.
Auntie Zeituni has written a book. It’s called “Tears of Abuse,” on account of how tough she’s had it.
Have I read it? Of course not. Have you read her nephew’s best-seller — Dreams from My Ghostwriter, I mean Father? No one has — it’s sold millions of copies, but until two weeks ago, not a single reader got far enough into it to learn that Obama was a dog-eater with “composite” girlfriends.
Anyway, I have the press release on “Tears of Abuse,” which describes Auntie Zeituni’s journey to the United States “where she faces the unthinkable; failing health and quarantined in a hospital while on vacation in a foreign country.”
Vacation? Surely she meant to say “welfare.”
“As her story unfolds she becomes a resident of (a) homeless shelter and a subject of deportation.”
How dare they! Just because she’s an illegal alien, they want to deport her.
Have they forgotten the immortal words of Marsha Coakley: “Technically it is not illegal to be illegal in Massachusetts.”
And if you don’t believe Marsha, just ask Uncle Omar, Auntie Zeituni’s brother, or half-brother, or whatever. Technically, it is also apparently not illegal to be driving drunk illegally in Massachusetts, at least if you’re an illegal alien.
Speaking of Omar, Michael Graham figures his book will be titled On the Road Again. It probably won’t have a happy ending.