Feel-Good Story of the Morning: Fidel Castro Reportedly Suffers Stroke

Posted by on Oct 19, 2012 at 7:55 am

Sure, we’ve been down this well-traveled road many times already, but he’s got to die at some point, doesn’t he?

Former Cuban leader Fidel Castro suffered a cerebral hemorrhage and his state of health is so precarious that he has trouble feeding, speaking and recognizing people, said a Venezuelan physician who assured El Nuevo Herald that he has access to firsthand sources and information.

“He suffered an embolic stroke and recognizes absolutely no one,” said José Marquina, a respected doctor who in the past has claimed to have direct information about the illness affecting President Hugo Chávez of Venezuela.

“The people with a condition of this nature have difficulty eating and, of course, they end up with total deficit in their neurologic capacities.”

Just imagine, folks, if one liberal icon dies and another is voted out of office withing the span of a few weeks. To say there will be Joy in Mudville would be the understatement of the century.


3 Responses to “Feel-Good Story of the Morning: Fidel Castro Reportedly Suffers Stroke”

  1. Slugger on 19/19/12 at 10:59 am

    Well, of course, Fidel is going to die soon; he was born in 1926. But his long, long survival shows the fecklessness and empty bluster that has characterized US foreign policy for the last fifty years. And the chest-thumping instead of thinking will continue no matter who is elected. For Castro dying of old age is a giant victory.

  2. lyle on 19/19/12 at 1:08 pm

    But…but…free healthcare!!

    When this puke dies, expect rivers of tears from every liberal in this country. With luck, maybe Fidel’s wife, Sean Penn, will throw himself on the funeral pyre.

  3. rich b on 19/19/12 at 2:23 pm

    Jesus Tits! In the last five years or so Castro has “died” more times than General Franco of Spain. But – when he does finally assume room temperature there will be a shout of joy (especially in Miami) we’ll be able to hear out here on the left-coast.

    The sad part is; there’s always another shit-stain (such as his brother Raoul) waiting in the wings so nothing will change in Cuba.

    Oliver Stone and Danny Glover are reportedly on Prozac due to this news. And Hollywood will be flying flags at half-staff when the old bastard finally does croak.

    Good riddance coolero.