You might remember David Brooks for his slobbering over over Obama’s impeccably creased pants a few years back. Now with a chance to make up for his idiocy, he gives another crack at humoring the humorless drones who still read the New York Times.
Mitt grew up in a modest family. His father had an auto body shop called the American Motors Corporation, and his mother owned a small piece of land, Brazil. He had several boyhood friends, many of whom owned Nascar franchises, and excelled at school, where his fourth-grade project, “Inspiring Actuaries I Have Known,” was widely admired.
The Romneys had a special family tradition. The most cherished member got to spend road trips on the roof of the car. Mitt spent many happy hours up there, applying face lotion to combat windburn.
Gee, thanks Dave. Where would we be without another lame reference to Seamus?
Who knows, maybe this is Brooks cleverly spoofing the left’s impression of Romney, but I doubt it.
Romney is also a passionately devoted family man. After streamlining his wife’s pregnancies down to six months each, Mitt helped Ann raise five perfect sons — Bip, Chip, Rip, Skip and Dip — who married identically tanned wives. Some have said that Romney’s lifestyle is overly privileged, pointing to the fact that he has an elevator for his cars in the garage of his San Diego home. This is not entirely fair. Romney owns many homes without garage elevators and the cars have to take the stairs.
Maybe some day Brooks will grow a pair and goof on Obama. But then he’d probably lose his cushy job at the Times and all the love that comes with it from the same people who already detest him.