Comedy Central Present Greats Moments in Obama History

Posted by on May 16, 2012 at 7:40 am

One of the most absurd, narcissistic moments from the failed gay president came Tuesday when it was exposed that the man-child was adding himself to the biographies of past presidents, as exposed at Commentary.

The discovery set off a Twitter firestorm of ridicule and even Comedy Central has chimed in.

* When Jefferson assumed the Presidency on March 4, 1801, the crisis in France had passed. Today, President Obama communicates with the President of France entirely through apologies.

* On March 4, 1841 William Henry Harrison became the first president to have his photograph taken. Today, the most dangerous place in America is between President Obama and a live camera.

* Inaugurated on July 10, 1850, Millard Fillmore had a weird name. Today, Barack Obama has a weird name.

* On March 4, 1857, James Buchanan became our first gay president. Today, Barack Obama is Our First Gay President.

* On July 2, 1862, Abraham Lincoln signed a bill establishing the United States’ first land grant colleges. Today, President Obama fills out NCAA brackets.

* On July 1, 1893, Grover Cleveland had secret surgery to remove a cancerous growth from his jaw. The growth was said to have been caused by his habit of smoking pipes and cigars. Today, President Obama has given up smoking.

* On July 7, 1898, William McKinley signed a bill that annexed the Hawaiian Islands, making them part of the United States. Today, President Obama claims he was born in Hawaii.

* In November 1902, on a hunting trip, Theodore Roosevelt famously ordered a captured and beaten bear to be shot and put out of its misery. Today, President Obama cheers for the Chicago Bears.

* In August 1941, Franklin D. Roosevelt ordered the construction of what would become Andrews Air Force Base. Today, President Obama plays golf there.

* On January 11, 2002, George W. Bush ordered the first detainees to be sent to Guantanamo Bay. Today… President Obama keeps the detention camp open and functional, actually.

When you’ve lost Comedy Central…


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5 Responses to “Comedy Central Present Greats Moments in Obama History”

  1. Blue Hen on 16/16/12 at 9:30 am

    Yip. He’s slowly becoming what they’ve studiously avoided for four years. A punchline. There’s a reason Will Ferrell is dragging out his Boooosh bit. The same reason SNL spiked a skit that mocked the dear leader. They know from the days of Ford that such satire can be effective. They’ve deliberately used it thus.

  2. hutch1200 on 16/16/12 at 1:28 pm

    Ike invented the Interstate highway system.
    Barry dabbled in interstate drug trafficing.

    Kennedy averted the Cuban Missile Crisis.
    barry smokes “Cuban Blunts” the size of missiles.

  3. Ed Zeppelin on 16/16/12 at 6:38 pm

    In the beginning, the earth was without form, and void. This went on for a while until Americans came to their senses and elected Barack Hussein Obaama as President.

  4. SpideyTerry on 16/16/12 at 10:09 pm

    Once you get started, you can really think of a lot of these.

    “In 1962, Stan Lee and Steve Ditko created Spider-Man. While Marvel’s most successful character for decades, no one really took notice of Spider-Man until Barack Obama said he read the comics.”

    “Thomas Edison invented the lightbulb. Barack Obama uses them to this day.”

    “Steven Spielberg directed “Jaws,” the first summer movie blockbuster. Barack Obama watches movies and enjoys summer.”

    “Some people say the Scots invented golf and some people say they didn’t. Either, Obama plays a lot of golf.

  5. Rob in Katy on 17/17/12 at 12:05 pm

    Are you ready for the giant building sized posters of Barky? Barky flags at every government building and posters on every available light post? The rewriting of the bios is just a start, we have seen this before… if only we could remember where…or maybe when. Gee, this is so difficult…